Embarking on an assisted fertility journey can often feel unsettling. The feelings of hope, anticipation, and, at times, disappointment can be overwhelming. Mindfulness and meditation can be a trusty friend when those emotions feel too big to handle – they’re powerful tools that can transform your fertility experience.
The Essence of Mindfulness
Mindfulness is about being present in the moment, and acknowledging our thoughts and feelings without judgment. During fertility treatment, it’s easy to become engulfed by the ‘what ifs’ and future scenarios. Practicing mindfulness brings us back to the now, helping us navigate through the procedure with a calmer mind, heart and awareness.
Meditation: A Pillar of Support
When my friends, Sara and Tom, who were going through their second IVF cycle, tried meditation together, they found a remarkable shift in their stress levels. Simply focusing on their breath each morning allowed them to approach their day with more peace and less anxiety. In addition, it gave them the emotional connection to each other that can so often be lost in the rigorous and routine-based IVF Day.
Meditation goes hand in hand with mindfulness, offering a structured way to quiet the mind and reduce stress. It’s not about turning off your thoughts or feelings but learning to observe them without getting caught up in them.
There are various meditation practices to explore, from guided sessions that focus on fertility and wellbeing to simple breathing exercises. Many find that starting or ending their day with meditation creates a positive frame of mind, enhancing their emotional resilience throughout the process.
The Science
Research supports the benefits of meditation and mindfulness, showing they can lower stress levels, improve sleep, and even positively affect outcomes in fertility treatments. This isn’t just about feeling better; it’s about potentially improving your chances of success.
Incorporating Mindfulness and Meditation into Your Journey
Starting a mindfulness or meditation practice can be as simple as dedicating a few minutes each day to focus on your breath or using an app designed for meditation. The key is consistency and patience.
For those new to this, joining a group session or workshop specifically designed for individuals or couples undergoing fertility treatments can be incredibly supportive. Sharing the experience with others who understand the unique challenges of IVF can be both comforting and empowering.
Let me share a quick story from my own life. During a particularly challenging period, I found solace in 10 minutes of daily meditation followed by 5minutes of journal writing. I embedded it into my daily routine – tucked up in bed at the end of the day! It wasn’t a cure-all, but it provided a moment of peace at the end of a day filled with uncertainty. It reminded me that while I couldn’t control the outcome, I could manage how I responded to the situation. This realisation was liberating.
Final Thoughts
Mindfulness and meditation are not just tools for managing stress during IVF; they’re invitations to connect with yourself and your partner on a deeper level. They teach us to live with uncertainty, hope, and resilience.
Whether you’re at the beginning of your IVF journey, experiencing success or failure or about to face yet another cycle, I encourage you to explore mindfulness and meditation. They may just be the lifeline you need. In her recent book, The Source: The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain, Dr Tara Swart writes, “consistent meditation practice increases folding in the brain—and its surface area. These changes are situated in the cerebral cortex, the layer of the brain responsible for processing and regulating data from the outside world. Committing to devoting a few minutes each day to meditation will give you a new clarity of perspective on what and who are your real priorities in life, supporting your “higher level” brain regulation and improving your resilience, making you more considered and balanced in your approach. If you want to maximize the power of The Source, mindfulness really is a no-brainer.”
Try these simple mindfulness techniques to get you started.
Journal writing – select a journal specifically for your IVF journey. At the end of each day, write some key highlights from the day. Then write 3 things you are grateful for. Complete your daily entry by writing a statement followed by a positive affirmation such as, ‘Today has been tough and I have felt it in my stomach/heart/head but I have the hope I need to see me through to the end of this cycle. I am strong and capable.’ Ending the day with a positive affirmation is like nutritious food for the brain. Find out more about affirmations and brain health with Dr Tara Swart.
Mindful breathing – If you are feeling dysregulated or overwhelmed take some deep breaths in, hold and release. I follow the 4, 7, 8, 4 technique. Breath in for 4, hold for 7, breath out for 8, hold for 4 and then complete the cycle again.
Body Scan – This can be done anywhere. Start by noticing where you are feeling any uncomfortable sensations. Name the body part, name the sensation and, if you can, link it to a feeling – great! Now give the feeling a colour and size. If you are able to, say out loud what you have noticed. For example. I feel a knot in my stomach. It is heavy. It is red and is the size of an apple. Now take your attention to a part of the body which has no sensations. For example, the tip of you finger or your little toe and hold your attention there for a while.
Colour scan – (During the height of Covid-19, this strategy helped me to stop my worrying thoughts in their track, . Like the rest of the country, I would look forward to my daily walk. I am lucky to live in a beautiful part of the country with lots of wooded areas and ‘off-the-beaten-track’ walks. But, my mind would start to race about the potential of the virus and the uncertainty that surrounded us at the time. Whilst walking, I would notice a bubble of anxiety in my stomach and then a tightness in my chest. This was my body telling me something was a-miss. I noticed my thoughts had turned to concern, worry etc.)
Think of a relatively uncommon colour in the area you are in, such as purple or blue. Scan the environment looking for it. The distraction will give your brain immediate solace from overthinking, it will also be a message to your brain that you are not in any immediate danger and so your survival mechanism will retreat and the body sensations will slowly ease off. Also, finding the colour will give you a burst of success and joy – sending a shot of dopamine around your body. (I would do this for the entire 1 – hour walk.)
Meditation – If you are new to meditation, I would recommended searching You Tube for something that feels right to you. Or, use a meditation app such as Mindful IVF or INSIGHT TIMER – here is their guide on how to meditate. There are many different types of meditations, so start with something fairly short and guided to listen to in a quiet room where you won’t be disturbed.
External Support – Consider using a clinical hypnotherapist to guide you through your journey such as Dr Steve Jones at Dream Life Mastery. His weekly web classes could help you to embrace life and find joy, even when days feel long and the waiting and uncertainty is too much.
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